30 November 2009

Guest Post: Daddy Bat

For about the last six weeks, first thing in the morning we have been playing the Baby Bat game at our house. I think this began one day when Anya crawled into bed with me and (maybe – I can’t actually remember what started it all) I was explaining about the fruit bats that fly around our house at night. They make a lot of raucous squawking noises as they eat nectar and fruit off the neighbourhood trees. The next thing, it was:

“Dad – let’s pretend that we’re bats, and you’re the daddy bat, and I’m a baby bat, and we’re flying through the forest together, and we’re flying really fast, and you’re squeaking to me like “Squeak! Squeak!” and I squeak back to you like “SQUEAK! Squeak, squeak!” and we fly some more, and ……”

And so on.

From these beginnings, we’ve developed quite a sophisticated storyline for our game. The plot for this is almost entirely spun by Anya. It’s like we’re in the Baby Batverse. It’s usually more fun to describe the plot of today’s game, in one long run-on sentence, than it is to actually play the game. Here’s the plot of this morning’s game.

There’s Baby Bat, Daddy Bat and Baby Bat Boy (Callum joined the game about a week and a half ago.) We live in a big cave with all the other bats, sleeping all day and hanging by our toes. At night we come out and we hunt insects. (We’re not fruit bats; we’ve become insectivorous about a month ago. Occasionally, we dabble in eating fruit when we see a nice pawpaw tree growing in the forest, but it’s been a fair while since that’s happened.)

We fly through the forest, hunting moths. It’s only ever moths we eat – ladybugs are too cute to eat, and butterflies are too lovely. We all catch them quite well now because we’ve practiced so much. When we catch them, we snatch them into our mouths with this sound – “Haraaamph!” Daddy Bat and Baby Bat Boy usually spit out the wings, but Baby Bat likes the wings the best – she always eats them.

Moths are pretty cool, but one thing that puts a cramp in our night-time hunting is our arch nemesis, the Owl. The Owl, you see, likes to eat baby bats. If he sees any, he swoops on them and tries to catch them in his claws. For that reason, although Baby Bat and Baby Bat Boy can fly pretty well, they usually cling on to Daddy Bat’s side as he flies around. This lets them hide under Daddy Bat’s wings if the owl comes, which happens frequently. Quite often, despite all the hiding, there is still some swooping, and Baby Bat has fallen out of the sky onto the ground. Then it’s a mad rush from Daddy Bat to locate her in the forest (she cries out “Help! Help, Daddy Bat!”) and get to her before The Owl does. So far, so good – although the Owl is a really, really fast flier, we’ve outpaced him because we can twist and turn as we fly much better than him. We then fly back to the cave, and the opening is too small for the Owl to come into. Plus, there are thousands of us bats living in there, so he knows if he tries to come in, he’ll get beaten up.

Even when Baby Bat and Baby Bat Boy are hiding really well, the Owl doesn’t stop trying. He flies up to Daddy Bat and says “Hey! Got any baby bats here tonight? I’m hungry!” Daddy Bat always tries to trick the Owl and he says “Oh, no – no baby bats here, no sir! I think I might have seen some over there, though,” pointing somewhere far, far away in the forest. The Owl usually falls for it, although he comes back surprisingly quickly and tells Daddy Bat that he’s been wrong.

So that’s the usual game. I should also mention that the last two times, the Owl’s been getting trickier. Yesterday, he came along when the Baby Bats weren’t hiding – they were right out in the open, playing in a tree! Only some fast thinking from Daddy Bat saved the day. Daddy Bat managed to convince the Owl that the two Baby Bats he was looking at weren’t actually bats. They were toy bats – they looked so terribly lifelike because they were made of rubber. Because they were rubber, you couldn’t eat them, either, because they’d taste just terrible. (Baby Bat snickered when the Owl fell for that one, let me tell you.) And this morning, we had to tell him the same thing again. We even had to fake having an on-off switch on the Baby Bats, and when Daddy Bat switched their switches to ‘off,’ they had to stop moving and pretend that they were battery-powered Baby Bat toys.

29 November 2009

The Non-Socratic Dialogues

Counting by Callum (9-Oct-09)
One, two, fwee, four, five, six, sebben, eight, nine, ten, ‘leven, twelve, thirteen.... fzz-teen... fffteen?

Conversation a lá Dora (22-Oct-09)
Anya: Can you say, “Arriba”?
Callum: Reeba!
Anya: Can you say, “Gracias”?
Callum: Rassia!
Elaine: Do you know what gracias means?
Anya: No.
Elaine: It means thank you.
Anya: [silent indifference]

Pleasing Conversation (28-Oct-09)
Anya: You don’t say “please” do you Callum?
Callum: Peeese? (very sweetly)
Anya: No, “please” – not “peese”!
Callum: Peese?

Hair Combing Conversation (1-Nov-09)
Anya: Want me to comb your hair?
Callum: Yeah...
Anya: Well, then – STOP – DOING – WEIRD – THINGS!
[brief silence]
Callum must have kept moving, because next...
Anya: Fine then, I’m not combing your hair EVER AGAIN.
[this conversation then repeated at least three times]

The Button (14-Nov-09)
Callum spots his sword (a collapsible futuristic light-saber style) and grabs it with glee. He starts to brandish it.
Anya: Don’t fight me, I don’t have a sword!
Callum: OK. [turns away]
Anya: Fight the baddies over there. [she points]
Callum: OK. [waves his sword around]
Just a few seconds pass, and she can’t resist getting involved.
Anya: Want me to fight the baddies?
He lets her take over the sword.
Anya: Want me to press the... [she tries to think of what to call it] ...the EVIL SMELL button?

As Experienced by Dad
(Before you read this: we refer to farts as ‘fluffs’ in our household. Not sure why we started doing that – probably because Anya’s child care centre does it. ‘Fart’ is just too uncouth to say aloud, it seems.)

Last Sunday I walked into the kitchen to find Anya clutching at her crotch through her shorts. She looked for all the world like a little boy who urgently needs to go to the toilet. “Do you need to do a wee?” I asked.

Anya looked slightly confused, as if she didn’t understand why I would suddenly ask this. “No,” she answered.

“Then why are you holding your crotch like that?”

She looked a bit sheepish, looked up at me and in a small voice told me. “To squeeze the fluffs out.”

25 November 2009

Today, a Non Sequitur


I accidentally spied this item on eBay while looking for Christmas presents. How cool is this? Now if I could only think of a reason that I need a 4GB USB that can transform into a jaguar...

24 November 2009

Parental Tricks

I was thinking about writing out the daily routine we have, but realised that most people are not as list-oriented as I am. Therefore, instead I am sketching out a few time management skills (yes, in a list... I couldn’t help myself...) that David and I have developed for getting through each day. Hopefully, they are entertaining...

  • We take turns getting to sleep in (every other day). This was really crucial until recently, as Callum tended to get up at 5:30 am whereas the rest of us (Anya included) think it isn’t decent to get up before 6:30, and really like 7:00 the best. Lately sleep-in time hasn’t been as much of an issue, except that our neighbour’s kids tend to start at 6 am, the ensuing brouhaha broadcasting straight at our bedroom window from their rumpus room cum echo chamber. I don’t know how, as they don’t seem to go to bed until 8 or 9 pm (Anya and Callum go to bed at 7:30, or 8 at the latest).

  • We race Callum to the toilet, or other places we want him to go. It is important to note that we do NOT get Anya to be in the race, unless she is just joining in to help us get Callum going (which she generously did this morning, allowing him to “win”) because nothing gets Callum crankier than losing out to Anya AGAIN.

  • At breakfast, I eat the same thing as the kids do. David has not adopted this tactic, but I’m certainly finding it easier since I realised that serving myself the same items is a lot quicker than thinking up and serving out a completely different meal. Also this has the positive benefit of making my breakfast healthy, not a sugary pastry, like I used to prefer B.K. (before kids). This morning we had mango, banana, blueberries, yogurt and English muffins. I was the only one who had coffee, though.

  • For a while, I toyed with applying the requisite sunblock before leaving the house, but now I’ve gone back to doing it after we arrive at Kindercraft. It’s a useful way to spend the hanging out time before I leave them for the day.

  • When it’s time for me to go to work, Callum says quite cheerfully, “You go?” with an inquiring look into my eyes. I say, “Yes, who wants to throw me out the gate today?” and everyone in the immediate vicinity (anywhere from 3 to 10 kids) usually says, “ME!!!” At the gate, I dramatically heave myself forward and backward, counting, “One! Two! Three!” and force myself out. Then depending on her mood, Anya either kisses me through the gate, or advises her best friend, “Don’t – she has slobber –” but my lovely son always accepts all kisses.

  • Dinner is usually sandwiches and fruit in the car on the way home, and maybe a little treat as well. Yesterday I attended the Artforce award ceremony (painted traffic signal boxes, of which I have accomplished one so far), so we all drove over to New Farm and the kids got to play in the fantastic playground (arguably the best in Brisbane) before heading home with Dad while I went over to the awards shindig at the Powerhouse.

  • We love when the kids play together in the bath, but usually they fight when stuck in close quarters, so most of the time bathtimes are separate. They do love being in the bath with either David and me, so sometimes we get in with them. It gets REALLY crowded when both kids get in with one of us! A strong argument for getting a spa when we get a new home...

  • TV. I admit defeat. My mother was completely anti-TV, and I inherited that attitude from her (i.e. TV is for your brain, like sugar is bad for your health). But on this front, I have given in. Kids going crazy and you don’t have time to escort them outside? TV. Want to eat your breakfast in peace for a few minutes before loading up the car for work? TV. Time to wind down for the day and get ready for bed? TV. Having said that, David has introduced an interesting twist recently: he uses our TV/PC setup to play songs (not videos) for the kids. It seems to give them the feeling that they are getting the treat of TV, and they enjoy hearing the songs.

  • At bedtime, the kids seem to actually prefer a more flexible approach (rather than the extremely predictable routine recommended by most experts). Our only firm goal is to get them into bed by 7:30 with clean teeth and empty bladders. But one staple that seems to remain is the singing. The very last event of their day used to be us singing them a song or two of their choice (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star being the usual favourite). A few weeks ago, they both seemed really grumpy with the singing segment, and I suggested that instead, they could sing to us. This was an instant hit, and is our new routine, although every once in a while, they still ask that we do the singing. Anya really loves it when I surprise David by tickling him while he’s singing, but he really isn’t up for tickles every night.

23 November 2009

Two Days in the Sun

To everyone living on the "top side" of the globe: yes, it is glorious summer here! Example: this weekend. Saturday was spent hanging about (literally) at Kangaroo Point, where locals like to rock climb, bike and rollerblade. We managed to do two out of three, and also fit in a barbecue breakfast with friends, as they had organised a 40th birthday celebration. I haven't been up a cliff face in over a year, so it was a slightly nerve-tingling experience. It was also a bit hard to concentrate, as Callum wailed like a banshee the whole time that I was aloft -- he didn't like my going up there! David had a turn as well, and could be heard commenting several times, "I might fall on this bit..." I told his belayer, "Don't worry, he says that all the time."

Anya achieved a personal best, riding her bicycle (with training wheels) along the bike path, making it her first real bike ride -- previous efforts have been cut extremely short with her hopping off her bike after just a few pedal pushes. Callum, meanwhile, tried out his scooter, but has only ever pushed it across the kitchen before, so he soon decided walking was more effective. We were all pretty red-faced after the very hot morning out, and had to cool off with chilled water baths at home.

Sunday was spent over at our in-laws, who have a pool and air-conditioning. Bliss! We had a mid-morning swim, and a big family lunch, then just as I was reluctantly concluding that we ought to head home, I got the brilliant idea of asking permission to stay. Callum had his afternoon nap on the big queen bed, and Anya jumped back into the pool for a second round of swimming. She was in heaven, especially because her cousins and a house guest (3 young teenaged girls + 1 ten-yr-old boy) played with her all day. It is really wonderful to see how confident she is in the water nowadays.

David and I, being the OLDIES we now are, each fell asleep at some point briefly in the afternoon, but that, too, was all to the good.

11 November 2009

Beach Time!

We went to beach this weekend, and by happy coincidence, so did our in-laws. They have two sons, aged 5 and 10, and Anya and Callum both had a great time hanging out with their cousins. It was really interesting to see Callum in a different light as he did "boy" things with his cousins like throwing a ball back and forth. We also enjoyed a family dinner all together which felt cosy and homey.

Anya's shining moment was the second day of our mini-holiday, as she got into the waves and caught some "shoots," as the family calls them. She was so thrilled with her achievement that, even though she was shivering violently (it was a somewhat windy day), she insisted on going back in for more.

David was injured -- not while swimming, but rather while reconnecting various devices to the TV. Now he looks as if he's been boxing, with a nifty gash on his eyebrow. Please won't some genius invent a better way to install AV equipment than crawling around the back of the furniture?

02 November 2009

Visiting Sodor

Day Out With Thomas

Not being a boy, I can't understand the fascination of Thomas the Tank Engine, but Callum totally loves him. This weekend we made it to a free event (provided by a local councillor) featuring life-sized Thomas, the Fat Controller telling stories, a bouncy castle, and mini train rides, hosted at Anzac Park in Toowong, which has some pretty nifty attractions in its own right such as the longest flying fox I've ever seen in a public park. I was dying to try the flying fox, but had to follow Callum as he trundled full speed down to the slides and fort area. All in all, a great morning out for both Anya and Callum (more photos on flickr here, here and here).